


Guilt and Anger and Awkward Things

by ghedahre



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Canon Compliant, Gen, Urie Struggles with Corrupt Masculinity and General Pussiness, Urie's Impromptu Voyeur Adventure, possible titles suggested by friends:, set the day after Haise slaps Urie, slight reference to Tsukiyama's gourmet habits if you squint, subtle angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-22
Updated: 2018-04-22
Packaged: 2019-04-26 10:58:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14400732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghedahre/pseuds/ghedahre
Summary: Urie didn’t think it was guilt exactly, but knowing that the reason Haise was crying was because of what he had said made him feel incredibly awkward.





	Guilt and Anger and Awkward Things

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to play around wih Urie's veiled childish effects and Haise's insecurities and I got this.

Urie left the local gym and made his way back to the Chateau. He opened the door with a practiced smoothness and closed it quietly as he stepped into the entrance hallway.  
  
He didn’t want to attract any attention from his mentor, if he was even at home. Especially after hearing the man sob in his room the day before.  
  
Urie didn’t think it was guilt exactly, but knowing that the reason Haise was crying was because of what he had said made him feel incredibly awkward that morning. Haise had prepared breakfast for everyone, a permanent smile in place as if nothing happened the day prior.  
  
He was like that, Urie noticed. He held all his burdens alone. But that didn’t concern him. He didn’t care. This man could never replace his father. He couldn’t play a surrogate mother, either. No matter how many times Yonebayashi called him  _Maman_. He wouldn’t let him.  
  
As he gripped his jacket in order to take it off, he heard a stove being turned on and froze in the hallway. He heard a few other sounds Urie presumed to be cooking preparations and kneeled down to slowly take off his shoes, listening carefully.  
  
Jazz wafted through the expansive house at a low volume, and Urie padded down the hall in his socks, peeking out from behind the wall.  
  
He saw Arima sitting at the table, his back facing Urie. The kitchen couldn’t be seen from where he stood, but he figured the one cooking must be Haise.  
  
Urie couldn’t help but wonder when Arima had the time to be with Haise, let alone at the Chateau. How had Haise gotten him to come over in the first place? Their relationship was a total mystery to Urie. But he figured he misses alot when he’s out of the house.  
  
The sound of food frying took the atmosphere, and the smell of sizzling meat along with the low jazz danced around Urie’s nose.  
  
“Did you know that music can alter the taste of food? Although it’s minutely, I feel that it’s an important bit for a chef. Like how a painter adds the last touches to his painting.”   
  
Urie heard Haise leave the pan and open a cupboard.  
  
“Same goes with glasses—different glasses alter the taste of the drink. Although the studies I read were mostly about wine, I think they could apply to other drinks.”  
  
Two glasses being placed on the counter sounded with a clink.  
  
Urie looked over to Arima from his hiding spot. His head was tilted and the faintest traces of an inquisitive expression graced his features. It was the most expressive Urie had ever seen the cold man. He couldn’t blame him, though; Haise had an incredible knack for rambling and making people incredibly confused. Or in Urie’s case, incredibly awkward.  
  
He heard Haise’s gauche chuckle. “You’re probably wondering why I’m telling you this.” He paused. “It helps me retain a sense of humanity I’m not sure I actually have.”  
  
The sound of the frying was drowned out by Haise’s words. Urie’s head was static and the only sound he could focus on was his mentor’s voice.  
  
It really was guilt.  
  
And now it was only amplified by the weight of Haise’s words.  
  
Urie felt his stomach clench and wanted to let ill in the corridor.  
  
He didn’t know Haise at all, but this was more than he ever expected to know.  
  
“Where did you learn all this?” Arima finally broke the static.  
  
“Hm? Um... In the books you used to lend me and some books I bought on my own.”  
  
Haise must have finished cooking because he rounded the counter and placed a dish and glass in front of his guest.  
  
Urie saw him rub his chin and look to the side as if he was thinking. “Although, I have a feeling I learned about it in my ‘past life’ because it all seemed familiar.”  
  
Haise’s amnesia was common knowledge within the CCG, but he never mentioned in front of the Quinx Squad. Urie almost forgot he had another, completely different life before becoming a CCG investigator.   
  
He walked out of Urie’s view once again and returned with his own plate and drink. The contents of which he did not want to think on, as guilt stabbed his stomach.

When Haise was seated, Arima said, “Sounds like a placebo-type effect.”  
  
“You shouldn’t be so quick to write it off...”  
  
“I meant how you are using it for yourself.”  
  
Arima began to eat his food as Haise stared down at his.  
  
He smiled tentatively and began to cut into his meal. “I suppose you’re right, but this is one bandage I can’t seem to tear off yet.”  
  
The two ate in silence and Urie crept back outside, having heard enough.  
  
Guilt didn’t suit him. But neither did apologizing. How did one go about apologizing after calling someone a ghoul? Urie didn’t know. He didn’t have any experience with apologizing for anything, anyway.

He kicked a pebble as he walked away from the Chateau, anger coursing through him.  
  
Why did this have to be so difficult? Why did Haise have to be so difficult?  
  
He could always ask his squad members, Mutsuki might know how to deal with—  
  
No, no. That’s pathetic. When was the last time he ever asked them for anything? They’d probably take one look at him and ask him what he did with the real Urie Kuki.  
  
Urie stopped walking.  
  
Why did Haise have to suddenly become someone to him? He could never replace his father, but...  
  
He looked up to the skyscrapers of Tokyo.  
  
He would worry about it tomorrow. Today had fried his nerves completely and thoroughly.  
  
He walked on. The farther from the Chateau the better.

**Author's Note:**

> Beta'd by my friend Notchy, thank you!!!


End file.
